everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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