I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Floor bacon is actually really good
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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