could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
