Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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