So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
