I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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