Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
