Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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