wat bout pragnant strippers??
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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