D3 body, D1 cock
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
