BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize