the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
