I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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