It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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