only if we run a train.
done.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
