A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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