pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
