Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
