Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
