I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is it because I queefed?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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