it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
