hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
