I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
