Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
