if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
