Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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