I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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