No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
