Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
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