I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
