I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
