So drunk, too bad you don't want this
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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