Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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