goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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