I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
