i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
