she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
