he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
