i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
