Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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