Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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