Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
