just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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