he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
