Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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