I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
