We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
