I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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