You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
