Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
