After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
